Neurosis.

Neurosis: a term generally used to describe a non-psychotic mental illness which triggers feelings of distress and anxiety and impairs functioning

Hi, my name is Julie and I'm neurotic. At least, that's the only explanation for my feelings today. I woke up this morning with my heart skipping a beat, as if I'd overslept and missed something incredibly important. In reality, I woke up at 5:09 - 6 minutes before my alarm was scheduled to go off so I could get up and go to the gym per usual. On the way to the gym, I was kindly reminded that I was forcible awakened in the middle of the night due to some awesome high volume teeth grinding. Once I was at the gym, I had the attention span (and therefore, willpower) of a lab rat. Seven minutes on one machine, 5 on another... for an entire hour. Yeah. I didn't like me in the cardio area either.

By the time I got to work, my head was SWIMMING with my ridiculous to-do list: wedding planning details that *must* be hashed out by Sunday; baby shower planning for a dear old friend of mine that also *must* be completed by Sunday; work related madness that needs to be done asap; personal live randomness that still hasn't been done like cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. Basically, thanks to the fantastic visualization capabilities of my ridiculous mind, I had driven myself insane by 10:15 this morning. And I honestly looked pretty much just like this:


Now, has anything changed since yesterday that warranted this craziness that wrecked my day? No. I don't know what caused it but good grief: Julie went from zero to neurotic in 5.2281 seconds.

Even after making the decision to divide and conquer some wedding details today with my mother, my heart is still in my throat and I can't seem to get ahead of the game. What gives?! It's not like the wedding (or shower or anything else, for that matter) is this weekend. There's still plenty of time. I get that. But I can't shake this feeling that I'm simply not doing enough. Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever feel like you've got a gazillion balls up in the air and at any possible second, you'll look away and BAM! A big ugly mess of disaster.

Whew. Okay, time to get to the list of things that made me insane today. Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day...