Story time.

Today started out on a happy (albeit rather irritating) note. As I got dressed for work, I looked in the mirror and realized that my jeans are officially too big. I look like a clown in training. These things barely touch me. They're sagging down on my hip bones just enough that with one good tug... well, let's just hope I have some pretty undergarments on to prevent a peepshow fail.

Alright, so fast forward to lunch time. My mom decides lunch should be at the local Chinese buffet (what we affectionately call, "Chop Chop" - not sure why we call it that other than we get to do some sweet arm chopping motions when we say it). So, Chop Chop it is. Figure friendly? Eh, not so much... however, a buffet *can* be maneuvered. I was on a mission to not wreck my day. I couldn't help but take notice of the folks around me, though...

In one corner, we have a morbidly obese couple talking about how proud they are of their food choices at the buffet: zucchini (yes, fried), veggie spring rolls (yes, fried) and string beans (yes, battered and fried). Alright. Where do I begin... let's just say, it honestly pained me to see them basically killing themselves while thinking they're being good.

In another corner, we have a table full of overweight construction guys who would rather sit back and stare at anything in a skirt. Thankfully, I wasn't in a skirt. I was wearing my clown pants, remember? All I heard them say was something along the lines of, "If I put on any more weight, my wife says she'll either put me on a diet or leave me. I'm going to miss her." Yeah. That's special.

Alas, I managed to eat my steamed broccoli and brown rice (ok... and one veg spring roll...) and get out of there causing minimal damage. But I can't help but think about that obese couple and how they just don't get it. They have the ability to help themselves... but they can't seem to get out of the rut of hurting each other. Sigh.

Oh... and the 'kick in the head' moment for today: After returning to work, I discovered that my clown pants lost a button. Yeah. How do you pop off a button when the pants are too big? I have no idea... I guess I'm just that good.